#DIRK U DORK

[2plolohs]

Me if I ever got to speak to ult dirk: hey dude. Faq u 4 calling my girl Jade a slut and a bitch, NOT cool.🖕Sorry abt the existential crisis, hope u get to kiss ur bf again. Anyway, have you ever seen Dont Hug Me I’m Scared? Did you find that one? Dude, you would LOVE IT-

[cringefail-clown]

kamina looking brony got my life in a chokehold

[tentacledwizard]

these are cool ideas. I drew the “dirk in an underwater building” one because it was the most interesting to me

whenever i want to draw something i'll make a note of it in my drafts. here are a few because i only draw when the stars align and motivation hits and god knows when they'll actually see the light of day

[stuckboards]

Psst dork stroodle (hehe) can i have a stimboard of me (roxy) and dirk being besties and moirails with mayb some oranges + pinks, cats, & birds?

Srry if its weird to ask u 2 mke a board abt a dif u

-Roxo lalon (i was here earlier 2, hai)

🐈 📿 🐦 ♦️ 🫂 ♦️ 🐦 📿 🐈

"Psst dork stroodle (hehe) can i have a stimboard of me (roxy) and dirk being besties and moirails with mayb some oranges + pinks, cats, & birds?

Srry if its weird to ask u 2 mke a board abt a dif u

-Roxo lalon (i was here earlier 2, hai)" ↪ Don't worry about it being weird, I live and breathe pale DirkRoxy. I think I'm familiar with different versions of myself anyway. Hope you like the stimboard!

[strider-odyssey]

I miss talking about dirk hcs ngl.

I know as much as he tries to be cool, he is fucking ugly as shit. Like he cuts his own hair. Its botched. Scars acne and he picks his skin like it a subconscious activity or a harmful stim. You are fucking ugly brother no matter how magnificent u think ur also messed up bro is. Dirk do not like a hot anime man. Take a seat dork strider.

[lizardrosen]

Dirk and Terezi? Heart and Mind are opposed aspects.

Terezi: DORK. DORK. Terezi: H3Y DORK!

Dirk: so are we going with the fiction that this is an unfortunate typo of my name or am i supposed to get insulted that u think so little of me? Dirk: i mean. Dirk: how do u want to play this?

Terezi: OH MY GODDD, HOW D1D COOL KID D4V3 COM3 FROM SOM3ON3 4S BOR1NG 4ND P3ND4NT1C 4S YOU?

Dirk: u take that back! Dirk: it's not pedantry, it's subtle redirection so i know what i'm being pedantic about.

Terezi: G1V3 M3 4 BR34K, 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR T1R3SOM3 S3LF CONGR4TUL4T1ONS FROM H3R3!

[machinati0ns]

(continuation of this): TG: should we try 2 contact them do u think TT: ...The carapaces? TG: no u dork THEM TG: my mom n ur bro TT: Oh.. TT: Maybe we should. TT: I'm, uh. TT: Nervous, though. TG: i no u r TG: if we even CAN reach them lmoa TT: I've tried before, but never could get hold of him. TT: We should probably at least try to let them know before we just drop in on them uninvited. TT: Lest we get fucking murdered. TG: god yeah lolllll TG: like just pop in2 my room outta nowhere TG: hi mom its me ur daughter tht u sent in2 the future 2 escape the batterwitch TG: tht didnt work btw shes still there in the future n she made my life a living hell TT: God. Imagine that scenario. TT: You bring up another good point, though. TG: o? TT: Would they even want us to come back? TG: what TG: of COURSE they would want us back dirk TT: No, I know that. TT: But with the Batterwitch still alive, they might see it as too dangerous. TT: They shipped us all the way out here to protect us. TT: Maybe in their mind it would be better for us to stay out of it. TG: well TG: we got no other choice @ this point TG: if we dont try then jane n jake will maybe TG: u no TG: janey especially is in even more danger the longer this goes on TT: Right. TT: We should tell them that, of course. TT: They'll understand. TG: they will TG: n e ways prototype incoming TG: get back 2 work boy!! TG: (with luv <3) TT: Ha, alright. Thanks. TT: Love you too, Rox.

[socialbunny]

I loved that playlist you reblogged, but now I'm so conflicted about the family name to use for Dusty-boo and Dirky (yes, these are their pet names for each other in my game!) So on one hand I made Dustin take Dirk's surname cause it's like their love healed him and made dreams he didn't even know he had come true (goddess how can a lesbian of my elder age of 22 be such a dork for these 2 stupid gay boyss yAy). otoh Broke-Dreamer is just the type of poetic gay shit I eat for breakfast so like???

firstlyyyy thank u for the compliment <3 literally gave me a burst of inspiration for things i want to do in the future so ❤️

and secondly i like your reasoning lol i think that dustin takes dirks last name too just because it sounds better, but leading up to their wedding they discuss who'll take who's name and dustin is (jokingly) adamant abt dirk taking his last name and even tho dustin is his EVERYTHING theres no way he could go the rest of his life being named dirk broke lmao. he's visibly against it and dustin's like "so you hate me and everything i stand for :/"

ALSO WHILE TYPING THIS I REMEMBER THAT DUSTIN DREAMER WOULD BE THE DOUBLE D THING THE DREAMERS HAVE GOING ON. <3 dustin dreamer wins the imaginary poll that was going on in my head

[love-love-fans]

awhrafhghhg dork dirk realness thank u for reminding me of this route OP

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5794

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GT: Roxy?

TG: yynnnnnrrnrng wat

GT: I take it by that disgruntled series of letters that youre feeling about as cruddy as me and jane right now.

TG: yea jake

TG: welcome to hangover city

TG: population

TG: some extra chumps besides me 4 a change

GT: Well you know what they say about misery. And how it supposedly enjoys company.

TG: hrrrnngh

TG: no it doesnt

TG: it enjoys a wet towel draped over its head

TG: and less talkin

GT: Hiyoooo!

GT: Point well taken.

TG: omg stop being so chipper dude do u feel like shit or not

GT: Indubitably. Rest assured it feels like a brood of anxious vermin is making its most valiant effort to escape from my skull.

TG: lol jake english w a hangover everyone

TG: slow clap

GT: Pardon?

TG: im just sayin if youre hung over for the 1st time pls do the experience some justice

TG: ur giving suffering a bad name

GT: I will say the multicolored lights from my computer strobing directly into my eyeballs arent helping the matter one freaking bit.

TG: SMH

TG: (not literally cuz ow)

TG: jake here is some sage advice from a veteran of substance abuse and its deleterious consequences

TG: dont use your fuckin skulltop when you got a hangover u dork

GT: Well i wouldnt but i just gave jane my only other device.

GT: I dont know how many times ive told her to keep more than one computer on her no matter what in case of situations just like this.

TG: oh

TG: whys she want a computer

TG: is that who dirks talking to now

GT: I dont know. Maybe.

GT: Shes not exactly talking to me at the moment.

GT: Not that i can blame her.

[treeprince]

for the "would dirk willingly wear a suit" crowd

yes he absolutely would willingly do so, and he and the strilondes definitely did the gentleminion tiktok challenge as a group w the rest of the former earth humans gang

[dav3katz]

Hello ! Nice to see a new homestuck blog. This fandom dead as shit lol. Do you have any just general hcs for what it’s like to date dave or dirk?

Dave relationship hcs

- Dave is pretty new to relationships, but he tries to be as cliche and romantic as he is able without letting his cool guy act be sabotaged.

- but at the same time .. he is like.. a huge fuckin dork lmao like overly sappy and just .. my god this boy is actually a mess

- he makes raps for you, yeah how original OP. Listen..!!! I know.

- but seriously yeah makes you raps and then wants your opinion.. he’s dying inside waiting for your reaction to it, but he’s happy when you say you like them :))

- he craves validation, especially for his raps tho.

- but sometimes he gets up in his feelings and wants you to validate him as a whole

- which he will deny getting up in said feelings

- teases you a lot

- he’s also always blushy around you .. blushy boy ..

- so like any affection he gives .. big blush on his face

- likes holding your hand a lot (and kissing them)

- likes sitting in your lap as well, doesn’t matter if he’s bigger than you or not

- goes “mwah mwah mwah” everytime he kisses you

- draws dicks on you while you’re minding your own business . He does it to karkat too tho

- doesn’t matter if he’s taller, when you kiss he wraps his arms around your neck, with your hands on his waist

- he likes his hair being played with but he won’t tell you that ;p

- likes you wearing his shades btw . He thinks it’s cute he dies inside whenever you do

- rambles to you a lot.. big surprise .. but he will ramble to you about anything and everything and appreciates you listening to him

- he rambles about you to rose a lot, well just anyone really? But mostly does it to rose, John, karkat, and kanaya.

- are you actually strong enough to carry him? Or is he just floating? The world may never know..

- he’s clingy and is always with you. On the off chance he isn’t you’re send a million “mwah” “love u or whatever” “<3”

- he can only keep the cool guy act for so long okay .. but he can be lame and sappy… just for you..

- but at first he’s awkward about his feelings he has so much he wants to let out but he’s trying so hard not to be a complete dorky loser in front of you so he’s so weird at first about affection and just.. a lot of things.. when he finally lets loose he’s fine

- he’s annoying and likes annoying you >=)

- “babebabebabebabebabebabebabebabe” “WHAT” “hi”

- the only reason he confessed is rose ? Like tbh . I think he would repress his feelings for the rest of his goddamn life . Especially if you’re a dude cuz holy shit

- but yea he spends so much time trying to not let his whole heart out, he can’t help but wanna express himself with you (when he’s more comfortable).

- kanaya and rose find it funny to just make you nice outfits so that Dave has like a heart attack <33

- “Dave look at this new outfit kanaya made me!” “Dave your face is redder than usual are you ok” “yes just having a heart attack is all.”

- the first time you you kissed him, he’s red in the face and just starts randomly beatboxing bc he cannot handle how cute you are and how great that was

- likes just chillin and listening to music with you

- loves cuddling you to sleep!! Usually likes being the big spoon . He likes the idea that you’re safe in his arms

- but like? Also likes being the smaller one when he’s just tired and sad and just .. needs to feel safe for once

- but if you try to enforce being the big spoon it takes some getting used to but he likes it so =)

- you guys got your own language at this point, communicating random shit with your hands.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY SAYING NOW. IS THAT HUMAN SIGN LANGAUGE?” “Definitely not.” “Yes I’m Not Sure What They’re Saying Either” “oh! They’re saying how karkat is really fuckin stupid! Haha!” “John why do you even know that” “WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT. WHAT.”

- carries you bridal style while he’s like flying.. just like.. looking down at nice views with him and shit.. so long as you trust him enough for that lmao

- he’s a dork and gets you flowers when you go on dates =) he refused to when you started dating so now he uses every opportunity he can

- also he’s very chill, like goes wherever you want to and it’s very hard for you to upset him

- likes neck kisses of any kind . Receiving or giving

- just stares at you .. a lot .. usually you can’t tell because of the shades but if you pay attention to the way he smiles you would be able to.. he gets this warm smile when he looks at you

- he just loves looking at you.. all the time… in a non creepy way ..

- he does worry a lot, so he does get a bit protective at times. Given everything he’s gone through, naturally he fears something could happen to you.

- he wants to be able to keep you safe and he fears he can’t do that. + he just fears the day you’ll die . He’s just . Rlly scared for all of that and thinks about it a lot and sometimes just needs some reassurance

Dirk relationship hcs

- oh boy

- well, he’s extremely grateful you’re dating him, he’s pretty self aware that he’s not dating material. Or at least, thinks he isn’t.

- of course, there will be some problems to work through in your relationship, he needs somebody who can get him to open up and talk about his emotions. It’s hard but he can succeed if he tries at it.

- he would hesitate for a long time to tell you how he felt about you, but I think his friends would be really encouraging about it.

- plus yknow… Hal … would probably do something

- speaking of, Hal does a lot of things to embarrass dirk and expose him for his affections to you, even while you’re dating.

- “he totally lovesssss you” “no I don’t” “he wants to kisssss youuu” “shut up”

- it takes awhile for him to be affectionate, and to truly express emotions very freely. However, when he does, he does.

- he won’t get too sappy on you, but he’s a lot better at expressing himself than at the beginning of your relationship. If you say “I love you” he says it back, and may even say it first on days he’s feeling particularly softer than usual

- he typically likes buying you things, it’s mainly how he shows affection

- he gets awkward at first with physical affections, but he grows to love it. Never initiates it though, even though he wants to.

- just kinda acts all tsundere abt it tbh

- but he loves it :)

- usually the most cuddly when you’re both sleepy and tired

- he likes being picked up, wrapping his legs around your waist and his arms around your neck :D

- that goes for while kissing too

- likes touching your face

- speaking of touching loves being touched now and is low key clingy af he just doesn’t wanna show it. Cant blame him tho he hasn’t been touched like almost his entire life

- he also teases you a lot, more than dave would though

- it’s how he shows affection <3

- you play with this hair and he goes >:( he takes too long to do it everyday ok . Don’t play with his hair unless he’s gonna sleep

- usually likes control in what you guys do for dates, but doesn’t care if you come up with plans sometimes

- he likes watching anime with you

- he gets kinda blushy and flustered.. quite a bit.. especially when you’re being touchy

- likes wearing your clothes, or you wearing his but it usually leads to more NSFW thoughts so I will not go too into that LOL

- big on cuddles, number one way to get him to be very touchy with you and affectionate

- likes putting his face in your neck when you cuddle, or when he’s feeling cuddly and affectionate in general

- when you cuddle he clings onto you like some koala

- when cuddling he tends to be more open and vulnerable so sometimes just vents about shit

- or like mumbles in your neck about how much he loves you and he’s sorry he doesn’t tell you it enough

- when you text him he gets all giddy and shit . All excited like “Omg haha what do they want”

- likes just listening to music with you and vibing

- cursed hc but he listens to blink-182 with you

- also . Yes bad at expressing himself at times but do not doubt his affections for you . You are quite literally his world and he will defend you through thick and thin

- touch is his love language now BTW . Kinda your fault tho :)

- tends to pay close attention to you, just little things he notices about you that even you don’t notice about yourself

- he’s not trying to be creepy promise he just likes looking at you

- which means though that he noticed your behaviors and habits

- and tends to copy them without meaning to

- like if you tend to say “like” a lot, guess what he says it a lot now.

- do you make specific hand movements when you talk? Well .. so does he now

- roxy is your guys number 1 shipper btw . They think you guys are just the cutest

- but absolutely teases tf out of dirk

- also Jane is the fucking “lesbian bullies gay man” meme but with you she’s like “hello sweetie honey baby Angel”

- Jake loves you guys too =)) he always asks dirk how you’re doin

- imagine a double date with John and Roxy. “I’m cold” “here you go Roxy! :)” “I’m cold too.” “Well damn y/n I can’t control the weather.”

- he is a good bf tho . Promise .

[dorkcresswxll]

“im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!”

Gift 1/?

[overtrolled-liveblog]

ROXY: i have so much to say... ROXY: i think??? ROXY: even though i cant think of the stuff atm ROSE: I know what you mean. ROXY: i hope its ok if i just sit near u not bein 'specially articulate for a bit ROSE: That is more than ok. ROSE: As long as you are willing to similarly excuse the spectacular demise of my capacity for artful self-expression. ROXY: omg!!!! ROXY: ahahah youre dirk! ROXY: wow wow i just caught it wow wow wow! ROXY: you sound SO much like him oh my GOD thats too perf and cute :3 ROSE: Dirk? ROXY: hahah i cant get over it now i cant unhear it... ROXY: even your voice sounds kinda like his but its just... girl dirk ROXY: lmao wow yes <3 ROSE: He sounds like a hell of a guy. ROXY: ohh u have noo idea

Oh, man. That is... ... huh! That is something isn’t it. I can’t say I ever really compared Dirk and Rose very much, but they are similar in some ways aren’t they. The wordiness for one, but they both played a similar role getting their own bucktoothed dork into the game, keeping tabs on the bigger picture, doing big, reckless, dramatic things because they perceived that there was no longer any future in the cautious route, having dramatic struggles with inner darkness, pseudo-suicide. Oh, and being in a gay relationship with a person whose personal color is a shade of green.

[wait-im-an-adult-now]

Homestuck headcannons I am ready to fight for part 3 (+3.5)

Jake is absolutely that kid that never has a clue about social issues. The boy never had to experience anything. He lived on an island by himself! (u could make a similar argument for jade and I wouldn’t fight u but she just seems like the kinda girl that would be able to figure it out herself. She’s do the research and talk to people and just kinda fill in the blanks herself) jakes the kinda boy where you’d have to EXPLAIN things to him. Why it’s a problem. Why there’s a movement. He’d be the guy that says “but why would people care if 2 guys got married?” genuinely confused because he just doesn’t know. Maybe it’s a bit of an exaggeration but the boy is a himbo that only knows about adventure and being polite. I think he would go to protests and rallies for his friends until it hits him like a truck and he just loses his shit. Very much a “Dirk did u know there’s people that don’t care when a person is murdered?! What is wrong with people??!” moment and our lovable dork is ready to strife.

[chezforshire]

Since i literally cannot work on something without blabbing abt it im gonna ramble a bit abt the earth c kids au i have

Rn im doodlin rosemary and davekats kids. Idk yet who gets saddle with a child first but both couples go through dealing with the strilondes fear of becoming their guardians. Karks has his reservations too. Thinks he's too much of an asshole to really rear a kid and being a parent is like being a leader, sorta. Some loser wriggler hangs onto your every word and you try your best to guide em where they should go. Previous experiences have shown him to have failed in that regard so imagine his trepidation over having to do that for longer than a few weeks.

Kan's prolly the only one of em who has her head about with the whole child rearing business bc well she was hatched for this shit ya know

Anyway the kid rosemary has is a maryam descendant and rose just goes 'well, she's sorta ur kid genetically speaking and we're married so she's my kid too ig so... we should raise her????' And they do and she's sweet and smart and terrifying in that she keeps alluding to murdering you if you so much as look at her or her parents wrong. Her name is Astrea Maryam-Lalonde and she loves her moms a whole damn lot and she thinks theyre the absolute shit. She's fascinated with fashion as is the Maryam staple though she only cares abt her appearance if she's being seen by people outside of family. When she's at home she just wears ratty tshirts and shorts or sweatpants that have more than a few holes in it. This makes Kanaya sigh with exasperation and just say 'like mother like daughter' as Rose flops on the couch next to their daughter in clothes under the same state.

Dave loves the shit out of her ofc bc he's a great uncle but also bc she loves drawing a whole buncha shit. Most of the time she draws people so she could slap some sick as shit dresses she designes on them. Dave talks abt SBaHJ w her and she's just That sounds Highly Stupid where can I see it and so they spend an afternoon just talking abt it and she genuinely finds it funny and wonders more than once if one day she could make her own comic. Though hers, no offence to Dave, would be much more serious and plot heavy and maybe gay and has romance bc seriously she's a Maryam-Lalonde have you seen their library? And Dave encourages her abt it and has become her editor/soundboard/ whatever the fuck when she has ideas for stories and makes quick drawings abt it.

Im not set on how davekat gets their kid yet but it's an ectogoop hybrid of the two of them. His name is Kagang Vantas for now bc Dave still hasn't gotten around to marrying Karkat wc is fine bc it's not like it means much to either of them but he does playfully call him husband every now and then. Anyway, the little dude is a human/troll hybrid and don't ask me any questions abt that yet im working on it. He's a bit of a brat but is a nice kid. He's a little hard of hearing so he doesn't always notice his voice but that's fine bc Dirk teaches him sign and makes him some hearing aids that he asks to have customized to look sick as shit when he grows up. He's got a lotta energy and spends a lot of his time playing outside w John, Jade and Jake. He's really attentive too and picks up on tiny details rly fast which makes him pretty great at handling upset ppl. He rly likes music just like Dave and that spurs the god into buying even better acoustics every year so his son can feel the vibrations much better. Contrary to Dave, however, Kagang rly likes classical music mostly bc Rose spent a whole lot of time playing her violin for both him and Astrea. He picks up the instrument too when he grows up and Rose is all too happy teaching him.

Dirk is apprehensive arnd the kid given what he knows of who he can become w Dave but he truly deeply loves the kid. He's distant for a few years and Kagang inevitably thinks it's his fault bc Dave and Karkat are both vry rejection-sensitive people and sadly that got passed down to the kid but dw it takes one to know one so the dads know how to get him through it. Dave talks abt it w Dirk and Dirk is floored bc jesus i was trying to make sure the kid wouldn't feel bad arnd me and fuck whatever i do its just a fuck up huh and Dave just shooshes him and goes bro dude dirkles it's fine you can still work on it. Now u know what's up and why u can work to make a better relationship. I know u love the shit outta my little dude but sometimes that ain't enough. Ya gotta show it through words and actions now come on let's hang out w Kagang and u can slowly mend that bridge. And he does and fuck he /can/ be a good person, these past few years has thought him that, and by fuck will he make sure that his nephew knows that he loves him and cares for him and thinks he's the shit

One can say Kagang and Astrea have a moirailgance but it's a lot more like siblingship rly. They poke fun at each other, mess w each other, would hide a body for the other all that shit. It's a lot like Dave and Rose but w a lot less layers of cool and aloofness to hide the fact that Dork+Dork equals Mega Dork.